Today I Remembered.

Today was one of those days that I felt like Africa punched me in the face.  Since coming back from the UK life here has seemed pretty “normal”.  Maybe even easy.  We have spent the last couple of weeks preparing for our sponsored kids to start school again…that means telling parents their kids are going to get to go to school for the first time…buying school shoes…registering new kids…all wonderful and glorious; everything you would expect of getting to be school Santa to so many little beautiful Ugandan faces. 

But today was different.  Today was a day when the world seems unfair, and Africa seems cruel.  Today I met Mama V.  She is a widow as of a month and a half ago.  A new mother as of 11 days ago.  And she is homeless as of today.  With no job, a newborn baby and the weight of the loss of her husband Mama V is trapped.  She has no way to pay for anywhere to live and since her husband died has been living with a friend.  But her friend is getting tired.  Tired of having 2 extra mouths to feed.  So she has asked her to find a new place.

I always love going back home to the UK for my “holidays”.  I love spending time with my family and friends.  I love getting to treat myself to things I could never get here.  I love the ease of living in such an affluent country.  I love having power everyday.  But all that stuff makes it very easy to forget Africa.  Stuff clouds your mind and slowly but surely pushes out everything that was once your daily reality.  I'm not saying its wrong…part of me thinks that if I was constantly thinking about Uganda whilst I was home I would have a breakdown.  But all that being said, forgetting inevitably means that at some stage you are going to be reminded. 

Today I remembered.

I remembered what it feels like to watch a mama weep as she holds her tiny precious baby in her arms mourning the loss of a husband who wasn’t meant to die.  It hurts.  Seriously hurts.  And I don’t even know if that’s okay?!  How can I sit here on my mac laptop in my lovely house with my new fan keeping me cool and complain about my heart?  How can I be moved by compassion without making it about me?  I live with an amazingly inspiring friend called Amy.  She is the one that always understands when I'm a wreck because of stuff I have seen in the slums.  She understands because she has been there…she is there now.  She told me tonight that compassion only works if it leads to something.  Compassion without action is pity…and pity doesn’t lead anywhere.  It lasts a fleeting moment and before you know it its forgotten.

I remember once again the example Jesus sets when it comes to faithfulness.  I believe faithfulness is one of the most powerful expressions of love.  It is unbreakable, unchanging and ruthless.  There is no way faithfulness can lose, because it never gives up.  If I'm able to be faithful to Mama V in the way that Jesus is to me then surely she will experience just a glimpse of how much her Father in heaven loves her.  Surely she will know He has a plan for her.  Surely she will see His hope in my eyes as I look at her and tell her Revelation Life are for her and that she is not alone.  Surely she will know I'm here not because of pity but because I want to see her situation change.  I want to help relieve the pain, if even just for a little bit.

For Mama V Jesus is already proving his faithfulness.  During discipleship as she shared her story another Mama who comes along felt compassion.  She has been there before too, and offered Mama a job so she can start paying a little rent to her friend and hopefully stay there a bit longer.  Once again Jesus declares his ever-present presence…through the actions and love of others. 

It seems so simple yet at the same time very very difficult…walking in the footsteps of Christ.  I suppose we tend to overcomplicate things and that means that stuff gets in the way.  Today I remembered that even though I may not be able to bring Mama V’s husband back, or put a roof over her head, I can still sit with her, listen to her story and give my heart to her.  I can be faithful.  Simple and yet very very difficult.  But so totally worth it.